Pistachios are tasty. I have made a note in the past that the salted kind sometimes have a flavor similar to roast beef. I’m not sure if this is true for all people, but I notice it often.

Like many tasty things, pistachios grow on trees. I love eating things that grow on trees. I am of the opinion that if you had the right variety of trees the preferred distance apart from one another, mild weather, a hammock, and a chair with a hole in it, you’d never have to set foot on the ground again. Sure, you’d eventually be a dirty, stinky, tree-dwelling person, but it would be fun for a while. Of course, you could get bored. Maybe it would work if it was the 70s, and you lived near a drive-in. Or, if someone brought you books.

The point is, I enjoy pistachios.

Every once and a while, when I eat a whole bunch of pistachios, I’ll get a pain in my chest. Maybe I’m allergic. I’ve never gotten it checked. It made me stop eating pistachios for a little while, but eventually I couldn’t help myself. If you haven’t guessed, I’m eating pistachios right now!

Apparently Dr. James Painter (A REAL DOCTOR) did research that indicated that eating pistachios is good for you. It was so true that there’s a WEB SITE about it:


Man I hope I’m not allergic to these things.


About paulgude

Paul Gude writes small books, makes stupid music, draws silly pictures, and does weird things on stage.
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