Another installment of the feature where I ask my three-year-old daughter to address the world with her insights and proclamations.
This episode took place at 5pm on a Saturday.
Me: Okay, Betty. What else do you want the people to know?
Betty: Um…all about dogs!
Me: Okay, what about dogs?
Betty: Dogs are really funky. They pop over.
Me: They pop over?
Betty: Yeah. They pop over to something.
Me: How do they pop?
Betty: Gonna be itchy.
Me: They get itchy and then they pop?
Betty: Mmm-hmm. And I pop my feet! My feet are really little. No, really big.
Me: So, both you and dogs pop.
Betty: I pop? Maybe you pop!
Me: What do dogs pop?
Betty: Over the heel.
Me: Over the hill?
Betty: No the HEEL!
Me: What’s a heel?
Betty: I have a heel, like this. (Indicates her foot.)
Betty: POP! P-O-P-O-P-O-P, spells DOG!
Me: Dog is spelled D-O-G.
Betty: (Nodding) Dog! Does “dog” mean stop?
Me: I’m getting really confused.
Me: What are the people supposed to know?
Betty: About pee-kees! (She’s now hiding under a blanket.)
Me: What are pee-kees?
Betty: Into the bike! Dog! Cat! Kuh-ah-t! Cat! Dog! Buh-et-ee! Betty! Betty!
Me: Are you talking about spelling?
Betty: (Nodding) Betty!!! Buh-et-EE! Betty! Betty! Yay! I did it all myself!
Me: Okay, I think we’re pretty much-
Betty: I’m going to have the thermin! Like this! (sings) Wooooo! I need the thermin. I gotta talk like a robot! (indicates vocoder) Hey, dad! I want to be a robot! Can I be a robot, like this? “I AM A ROBOT!” Like that? I gotta be a robot! Look I gotta be a robot! Look! Are you done? Are you done? Are you done!
Me: Yeah, I think we’re done!
Betty: I gotta press the moon!
(Computer powers down)
Me: (Turning computer back on) Don’t press the moon. Want to say bye-bye to the people?
Betty: Yeah, I gotta say bye to the people. I can say, “Byeeee!” (waves) Dog! Dog! Cat! Kuh-a-tt! I need a cat!