Hen Who Lived at a McDonald’s Finallly Captured

I received an email with the above subject line from ichneumon@maks0.sk.

Even though I *knew* I didn’t know this person, and even though I *knew* it was spam, I was intrigued enough to view the attachment as HTML in gmail.

As expected, the contents were “buy viagra, cialis, levitra and other meds” along with a web address. What was I hoping for? The story of a hen that lives in a McDonalds? I could come up with a reasonable account in my head that would not be any better or worse than the one I had wished to find. What drew me to it? The simple story the title tells? The promise of a mystery with a definite conclusion? The similarity to this and the “urban phantom” bear stories in Seattle? The extra “l” in “Finallly?”

In the end, I think it was the promise of a relatively innocent and somewhat curious story that got me to look at the file. It didn’t sound anything like the spam I’m used to seeing. If it were “Cum-Hungry Teenage Sluts Who Live at a McDonald’s Finallly Captured On Your Desktop All Nite Long!” I would have known it for what it was instantly.

I think that it’s the simplicity of the story, accompanied with the odd twist and spelling mistake. The spelling mistake is possibly crucial, as it throws your brain off a bit. With that in mind, I have some other modest yet curious misspelled email subject lines Internet Marketers such as ichneumon@maks0.sk could try:

Apple Tree Home to New Kitttens
Deer Statue Finallly Returned to Post Office
Gas Station Plans Rejectted by Architect
Nursing Home Wins Freee Apple Butter
Missing Goat Hoves Found in Alderman’s Pocket

That last one might have been a little too racy, but I can only go for so long.

Feel free to try it yourself!

About paulgude

Paul Gude writes small books, makes stupid music, draws silly pictures, and does weird things on stage.
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One Response to Hen Who Lived at a McDonald’s Finallly Captured

  1. paulgude says:


    It looks like maybe this was based on a true story:


    If that’s the case, then really all they have to do is use headlines from this web site from a year ago. Let’s try it:

    Stranded divers float to island, then fight offf Komodo dragon

    Beijing Olympics vendors sellling strange item: Goldfish trapped in a keyring heart

    Paralegal gets himself locked into a Broooklyn bar


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