Betty Slang

Betty: I want people to check bee. Check bee is my favorite. Check Bee! Check Bee!

Betty holds up two wigs.

Betty: Which one do you want? This one or this one?

Betty puts on the white one.

Me: I’ll take the green one.

Betty: I’ll take the white one. What do you have in there?

Me: The green one?

Betty: Let’s put these down.

She rips off the wigs and puts them one the ground.

Betty: DADDY!?! What are you doing?

Me: One sec. I’m typing what you’re saying, so that the people will know about it.

Betty: They need to check bee!

Me: What’s check bee?

Betty: Check is when you throw and stick! Check bee! Check bee! I need to check bee! Oh, a super hero! I can’t be the super hero. What am I going to wear?

Me: What’s a check bee?

Betty: It’s skates!

Me: Skates?

Betty: I say, “Check bee! I’m on skates!”

Me: Do you mean, “Check me?” Like “Check me out?”

Betty: Yeah, like “Check bee!”

Begins playing with her phone.

Me: Betty, I’m still not clear what check bee is.

Betty hands me Domo.

Betty: Domo, watcha gonna say?

Takes Domo back.

Betty: You don’t say it, so I throw you!

Me: Betty? What is check bee?

Betty: Check bee gonna beats! Check bee is gonna clap! Check bee is gonna throw.

Me: Betty, are you a Check Bee.

Betty: Yeah! I am Check Bee. Mr. Mole is a Check Bee. Sugarsquatch is a Check Bee.

Me: Betty, am I a Check Bee?

Betty: Yeah! YOU’RE a Check Bee.

Me: Is mommy a Check Bee?

Betty: Yeah. The computer is a Check Bee.

Me: Betty is a bee a Check Bee?

Betty: Yeah.

Me: Betty, what’s not a Check Bee?

Betty: Not a Check Bee is a long city.

Me: A long city?

Betty: Yeah.

So now we’ve got new slang.

If something’s cool, it’s Check Bee. If it’s not good, it’s Long City.

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About paulgude

Paul Gude writes small books, makes stupid music, draws silly pictures, and does weird things on stage.
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2 Responses to Betty Slang

  1. Lex Vader says:

    Geez Paul, it took you so long to figure out what check bee is, I was starting to think you were long city!

  2. COMTE says:

    I used to live in Longview, which is totally Long City…

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