Betty Slang

Betty: I want people to check bee. Check bee is my favorite. Check Bee! Check Bee!

Betty holds up two wigs.

Betty: Which one do you want? This one or this one?

Betty puts on the white one.

Me: I’ll take the green one.

Betty: I’ll take the white one. What do you have in there?

Me: The green one?

Betty: Let’s put these down.

She rips off the wigs and puts them one the ground.

Betty: DADDY!?! What are you doing?

Me: One sec. I’m typing what you’re saying, so that the people will know about it.

Betty: They need to check bee!

Me: What’s check bee?

Betty: Check is when you throw and stick! Check bee! Check bee! I need to check bee! Oh, a super hero! I can’t be the super hero. What am I going to wear?

Me: What’s a check bee?

Betty: It’s skates!

Me: Skates?

Betty: I say, “Check bee! I’m on skates!”

Me: Do you mean, “Check me?” Like “Check me out?”

Betty: Yeah, like “Check bee!”

Begins playing with her phone.

Me: Betty, I’m still not clear what check bee is.

Betty hands me Domo.

Betty: Domo, watcha gonna say?

Takes Domo back.

Betty: You don’t say it, so I throw you!

Me: Betty? What is check bee?

Betty: Check bee gonna beats! Check bee is gonna clap! Check bee is gonna throw.

Me: Betty, are you a Check Bee.

Betty: Yeah! I am Check Bee. Mr. Mole is a Check Bee. Sugarsquatch is a Check Bee.

Me: Betty, am I a Check Bee?

Betty: Yeah! YOU’RE a Check Bee.

Me: Is mommy a Check Bee?

Betty: Yeah. The computer is a Check Bee.

Me: Betty is a bee a Check Bee?

Betty: Yeah.

Me: Betty, what’s not a Check Bee?

Betty: Not a Check Bee is a long city.

Me: A long city?

Betty: Yeah.

So now we’ve got new slang.

If something’s cool, it’s Check Bee. If it’s not good, it’s Long City.


About paulgude

Paul Gude writes small books, makes stupid music, draws silly pictures, and does weird things on stage.
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2 Responses to Betty Slang

  1. Lex Vader says:

    Geez Paul, it took you so long to figure out what check bee is, I was starting to think you were long city!

  2. COMTE says:

    I used to live in Longview, which is totally Long City…

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