Why Amanda Palmer Wasn’t at Camp Tomato

I hadn’t heard about Camp Tomato before Jason Webley’s 11-Year Elevanniversary Celebration. He mentioned it in passing during the show, and I was intrigued. The finale of the Elevanniversary celebration led me to realize one thing:

Jason Webley is a man who gets awesome things done.

They are not simply awesome things that he thinks of doing, nor are they semi-okay-things that are then completed. They are awesome things, and then they happen.

The plan was obvious. Find out if children can go, and then kidnap Betty for an adventure day.

So I did as much reading of Camp Tomato as possible. While I was reading, I saw this tweet, from around five days ago:

amandapalmer @AdelaideHayward yes, i am totally coming to @jasonwebley’s camp tomato in seattle next week, probably sporting a very salty prom dress.

Yet, around the start of the festivities, a new tweet appeared:

amandapalmer am skipping out on @jasonwebley’s camp tomato to hide in a seattle cafe and catch up on email, phoning, planning and blogging. (+muffins).

Later, Amanda Palmer tweeted this:

she’s the barista in the coffee shop i’m hiding in & her name is miranda & she has the SEATTLE SPACE NEEDLE tattooed on her arm.

http://twitpic.com/9g0vk

I know that tattoo. This is the coffee shop on the way to the park where Betty plays, WHERE WE WOULD HAVE GONE TODAY if we hadn’t gone to Camp Tomato instead.

I’ve confirmed this to make sure I’m thinking of the right person. As a result, I also know that my barista is totally cool and owns a copy of Slanky. which makes me feel vaguely stalkerish.

But I digress…

Here’s the thing. Whenever Betty’s around me, which is pretty much all the time, Amanda Palmer is nowhere to be found. The night of the Elevanniversary, Betty was at home. That night I spoke to Amanda Palmer.

I know what you’re thinking:

BETTY IS AMANDA PALMER.

You are completely wrong.

Betty and Amanda Palmer are simply desyncronized, as the universe cannot handle that much awesomeness in such close proximity.

The question remains, of course, did the universe push me towards Camp Tomato so that Amanda Palmer could get some work done, or was Betty sent to fill the void Amanda Palmer left?

After all, embodying the mischievous and crafty nature of the “X” by throwing handfuls of flour on people is something Amanda Palmer might have done. Walking up to Jason Webley mid-sentence to inform him that she would be willing to be a rhinoceros is likewise a possibility. Running away to play on the swings every five minutes is a behavior to which I cannot attest, but it seems somewhat in character.

I have come to the conclusion that it’s my fault. I must apologize to all of you. I wanted to go to Camp Tomato, and I brought Betty along with no thoughts to the consequences.

Then again, maybe I’m just a patsy, and the universe knows what it’s doing.

I fear Betty and Amanda are destined to meet someday. Maybe when she’s six, since that’s 2012 anyway.

Of course, I want to go next year.

Special thanks to Alex West for bringing us into the “X” fold, and to Jason Webley for everything.

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About paulgude

Paul Gude writes small books, makes stupid music, draws silly pictures, and does weird things on stage.
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