Betty Speaks Again

Me: Hey, Betty! Come here!
Betty: What? What, daddy? Daddy, what? I need my raincoat! Can I please have my raincoat? Daddy come here!
Me: Can you tell me what you’d like the people to know?
Betty: Who is check-a-bee, and who is Long City? I need privacy! Can I see in your teeth? (Holds a flashing red LED hooked onto a 9-Volt battery up to my teeth.) That’s YOUR job. Aww…yeah! (Leaves and goes into the bathroom.)
Me: Betty?
Betty: What? What Daddy?
Me: Will you tell the people?
Betty: Uh huh. (Starts making an ahhhhhh noise while she tries to look down her throat in the mirror.)
Me: What do you want to tell them?
Betty: About check-a-bee!
Me: Check-a-bee AGAIN?
Betty: Yeaaaaaaaaaaah. And I’m telling mommy about Long City. I’m giving the people to Long City. To the city! You can go into the city! Yeah! (Falls over) Woah! Bump! CRASHDOWN! (Each of these are actual words she has said out loud. Then she sucks thumb and puts finger in belly button.) And I will play! (gets out a small bell and a whistle, begins playing both. Gets some hair in her mouth, then continues playing. You can listen to that section here. Eventually it stops. There is silence.)
Me: Do you want to say goodbye to the people?
Betty: BYE!
Me: Anything else?
Betty: Nope.


About paulgude

Paul Gude writes small books, makes stupid music, draws silly pictures, and does weird things on stage.
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