A Cautionary Tale: More Updates

So, now the sheriff has officially stated the “balloon boy” debacle is a hoax. See the CNN article for more details.

One note to our friends overseas:

I’ve seen a lot of statements about how “moronic” folks in the USA were by thinking Falcon was in that balloon. Keep in mind that most of us heard he was in there first, without actually seeing the footage. Then, when we saw the footage, the balloon was in the air, where it’s much more difficult to judge scale.

Even Mythbuster Adam Savage, an all-around smart guy whose own show busted a similar myth (episode 21 – Ping Pong Rescue), expressed concern for Falcon via Twitter at the time of the incident.

So, please, at least give us credit for having more compassion than sense at that moment. When the footage of the balloon taking off was finally shown, it was instantly recognizable that there was no way he could have been on that balloon, which is what prompted my original essay.

Another point I had been considering, that was actually brought up by Simon Pegg on twitter is the idea that this started out as a UFO hoax.

My own thought was that it went kind of like this:

9News: Hello, 9News, how can I help you?
Male Voice: Hi, I just wanted to call and tell you that if someone reports a UFO, that’s actually my balloon. It got loose because my wife wasn’t holding onto the tether and-
9New: Your balloon? Like a hot-air balloon?
Male Voice: Sort of, it actually is a home-made helium balloon I made with my family-
9News: Oh, no! Is anyone on board?
Male Voice: Is anyone…uh…What?
9News: Is one of the children on the balloon?
Male Voice: Right! Oh…oh my God! (fainter) Didn’t you say you saw your brother get on the balloon?
Young Male Voice: I what?
Male Voice: Oh my God, I think my son might be on the balloon. I hope he’s okay!

Not saying it’s what happened, just saying I could believe it. Again, sad to discover that I was right in this. Or was I?

Let’s consider the idea that Richard Heene came up with this scheme in the manner that Robert Tomas claims:

“…he was motivated by theories I thought were far-fetched. Like Reptilians — the idea there are alien beings that walk among us and are shape shifters, able to resemble human beings and running the upper echelon of our government. Somehow a secret government has covered all this up since the U.S. was established, and the only way to get the truth out there was to use the mainstream media to raise Richard to a status of celebrity, so he could communicate with the masses.”

Do you notice the subtle manipulation of this event by the media from a heart-warming story into a horrific tale of child endangerment? Isn’t this exactly the type of thing the reptillians are known for? Why is “reptillian” not recognized by my spell-check? Is it a subtle way to imply that they don’t exist? Is it- Oh, wait. I guess it’s supposed to be “reptilian.” Anyway, I think you see my point.

Next, I’m waiting for the rumors to circulate that Falcon threw up because they gave him on overdose of cold medicine to make him non-communicative during the interview. Have those happened yet? That seems like the next step in a secret-government conspiracy.

(I hope Reptilians understand the concept of sarcasm.)


About paulgude

Paul Gude writes small books, makes stupid music, draws silly pictures, and does weird things on stage.
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2 Responses to A Cautionary Tale: More Updates

  1. Lex Vader says:

    Although I’m not really following this, because news is generally a waste of time and a complete exaggeration, my main concern is that people don’t think before they act. I mean, say a kid could be in a balloon. You can’t shoot it down. You can’t catch it. If it’s going to hit something, you can’t stop it. What exactly is the point in chasing it with helicopters and cars and pogo sticks and hanggliders? Once it lands, I wouldn’t blame the police for getting involved. But I can’t help but feel, especially now, they had to be thinking it’s another baby who fell down a well situation. The media is obviously looking for another well-baby, so they jump at anything that sounds similar. And I wonder if cops, being people, and Americans, and obsessed with the media as we all are, weren’t thinking the same thing. But the idea is just a very strange and vague danger to be saving someone from. Whatever happened to skepticism?

    It reminds me of the skit from The State where the family’s son calls the feds and they believe every outrageous story he tells them (which all turns out to be true).

    Mind you, it’s not that anyone believed it. It’s that people started doing stuff with no plan and no precedent. Everyone got excited and didn’t think as far as step two.

  2. sn0tteh says:

    My reptilian ex-husband didn’t understand sarcasm. That was a fun seven years.

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