In case you’ve ever wondered how a horrible pun gets written, it often happens by accident.
For example, I see someone write:
“I like long walks on the beach.”
I mistakenly read it as:
“I like long walks on the bleach.”
This odd mutation of language is introduced to my brain and won’t leave. “I like long walks on the bleach…I like long walks on the bleach…” It has to come out! What does it even mean? Someone pours bleach down a hallway and puts their bare feet in it?
Then, I think:
“I guess if someone took the ‘l’ from ‘walks’ and put it in ‘beach’ instead. That’d make it ‘I like long waks on the bleach.'”
I briefly toy with the idea of making a joke about “Long wacks on the bleach,” about someone who pleasures himself in the cleaning supplies of a store.
I realize “Long woks” works better, but what’s a “long wok?” Maybe one that’s warped?
It all comes together and I tweet:
“You know that store clerk who knowingly stocks misshapen kitchen items with the cleaning supplies? I hear she likes long woks on the bleach.”
The entire process takes less than thirty seconds.
Then I panic that it’s too easy, and think someone must have already done it, so I Google:
Hooray! I’m in the clear.
I sit back, full of satisfaction. Then the pun-related guilt starts, and lingers much longer than I would care to mention.