I Made a Skyrim Terminator

The only problem is, I’m Sarah Connor.

First of all, let me say at the outset that I realize:

1) Hundreds of people have probably experienced this thing.

2) I know this happened because I was being dumb.

3) I’m sure there’s a web site with tips on how to not have this happen or whatever.

I’m fine with all of that. I just had fun and wanted to share.

If you haven’t played Skyrim yet, ignore this post. You either won’t know what I’m talking about or get spoiled.

I’m really tired, so this will be short.

I keep restarting the game, because I love making characters.

I decided to play a truly bad guy this time. I attacked Hadvar once we got past the archers.

Not only did he not fight back, but my weapons skill went up every time I hit him. I kept attacking him through the rest of the tutorial. By the time we left, I was at level three. It may have been because I kept sneaking.

Alas, when we started down to the circle of stones, a switch got flipped. He started fighting back, hard. I barely killed him, only he didn’t die. He stood up at full health again and killed me.

When I went back to the save point, I started attacking him again, with no problems. Unfortunately, this time the switch flipped even sooner. I ran to the circle of stones, chose the thief stone, and ran out just in time for Hadvar to catch up to me. This time I jumped into the river (yay Argonians!) and made it to Riverrun.

I was able to get the golden claw quest and tan some leather before I had the stupid idea of trying to find the blacksmith in his home. The blacksmith who speaking to fulfills a quest because Hadvar wants you to talk to him?

“We have company,” he said, then Hadvar drew on me and it was BAD.

I tried several fight plans, but none of them worked because everyone in the house attacked me.

Luckily, I can always jump in the river.

I got all the way to Whiterun and was able to pick up the quests from there, but now it’s late. I figure I can sneak back into Riverrun to turn the claw back in later.

At first I thought I’d have to stop playing, but I like the fact that there’s an unstoppable killing machine that wants me dead. I’ve got two other characters for playing the game correctly.

The Argonian was made for being a weird jerk.

About paulgude

Paul Gude writes small books, makes stupid music, draws silly pictures, and does weird things on stage.
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