Vegan Chocolate Microcake

This is chocolate cake. It looks like chocolate cake. It tastes like chocolate cake. The fact that it is vegan and was made in the microwave has absolutely no bearing on the fact that it is chocolate cake. Everyone should just shut up and eat it.

¼ Cup Coconut Butter or Coconut Oil (Peanut Oil may also be used)

¾ Cup Sweetener (I used turbinado raw cane sugar)

¼ Cup Cocoa Powder

1 Tbsp Flax Seed Meal

1 Cup Flour (I used unbleached all purpose flour)

½ Tsp Baking Soda

½ Tsp Salt

1 Cup Water

Melt the coconut butter in a 1-quart capacity microwaveable dish or baking pan. Coconut oil can also be used. I happened to find some coconut butter on sale and stupidly bought it thinking I would like it as much as coconut oil. I don’t. Still, you can’t go wrong with chocolate cake so I used it for this recipe. Unlike coconut oil, coconut butter can brown or burn slightly in the microwave due to the presence of coconut meat, so err on the side of caution.

Add your sweetener to the melted coconut butter and stir with a teaspoon. Add the cocoa powder and flax seed meal, and stir halfheartedly before adding the cup of flour. Do not stir the flour. Drop in the baking soda and salt, and stir that into the flour, without disturbing the ingredients under the flour. You’re doing all of this so you don’t have to clean more than one dish. It’s worth it.

Once the salt and baking soda are mixed with the flour, stir all the dry ingredients together until they are a uniform mix. Finally, add the cup of water and stir everything together until you’re left with something that looks like a big mess of chocolate pudding. Cover the dish or pan and microwave on half power for ten minutes.

Uncover and decide to let it sit for ten minutes before breaking down and checking it after five. It will seem like it is done, and may be. To be on the safe side, flip it over onto either the dish’s lid or a microwaveable plate. You may find the bottom undercooked.

If this is the case, put it back into the microwave in this flipped-over state for two minutes at half power. Wait a minute. If it still seems undercooked, put it in for an additional two minutes. After that, you have to decide whether you will err on the side of a slightly moist cake or an overdone cake. I prefer slightly moist.

You can put frosting on the cake if you want or eat it in huge handfuls while growling like a monster. Again, I prefer the latter.


About paulgude

Paul Gude writes small books, makes stupid music, draws silly pictures, and does weird things on stage.
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