A Surprise for Giraffe and Elephant Is Out! Now What?

Hello, everyone!

I am pleased to announce that A Surprise for Giraffe and Elephant is now out!

Below are some tips of things you can do to help our two pals spread their message of fun and friendship!

Buy the Book Online, Preferably Once or Twice Per Day

Some people feel guilty about buying books online. The mom-and-pop bookstores of the past are having a hard time keeping afloat. However, as someone who has lived far away from bookstores in the past, I know that online ordering of books can be great. It’s not something going away any time soon, so if you are inclined to buy books this way, do it!

There is a psychological effect that can occur when people look at a web page and see that my book is ranked below one million from that particular site’s inventory. “That book must not be very good,” they may think. “I will buy this stupid book instead, that a bunch of people I’ve never met bought.” Even one purchase a day can keep that from happening. So, please buy my book once a day.

If you can afford to buy it twice a day, or once every hour, so much the better.

Here are some places that sell the book:

Amazon.com

Barnes and Nobel

Books-a-Million

Indigo
Write a Good Review Online

People who buy books online cannot ask the bookseller if the book is good. The bookseller will want to sell them books at all costs. Also, the bookseller is a large organization of people and robots. They do not answer questions. Therefore, people read reviews to see if they should buy a book. If they read a good review, YOUR good review, they may be more apt to buy the book. That is good. That is what we want.

You can also write reviews places that do not sell books. Why not write a review on your own blog? It’s yours! Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t. Write a review for the book on a web site devoted to antique timepieces. Why not? They can’t stop you! Actually, they might be able to. If it’s a moderated community. You could probably give it a shot, though.

Can’t Write a Review? Fine. At Least Rate It. Rate It Very Very High.

Even if you think the book is a four out of five (and if you think that, you are wrong) there’s someone else rating it a one because some people are very bad at telling if things are good or not. You can stop this by rating the book as high as possible. You can do this more than once if you happen to be multiple people.

Do Not Write a Bad Review Online

This is not a bad book. Why would you write a bad review of it? That’s just a bad use of your time. Have fun with some friends instead.

Buy the Book at a Physical Location Where There Are Books

A big secret of the book industry is that there are places that you can walk in and buy books. An even BIGGER secret is that the book industry cares when someone buys books at these physical locations. The BIGGEST secret of all is that there are people who depend on selling books at this physical location for their livelihoods. They normally like books, too, and would be happy to order the book if they don’t have it in their current inventory.

Find a book place near you with IndieBound!

Go books!

Feature the Book Prominently in Your Cinematic Blockbuster

If you are currently filming a cinematic blockbuster that involves a parent reading to a child, why not have them read A Surprise for Giraffe and Elephant? The answer is, “No reason at all!” Unless it’s a business decision. I’m not sure how the film industry works in that regard. Still, having a bunch of people see the book when they’re at a film and then realize it’s an actual book they could buy would be pretty great.

You could also do this on your sit-com. I’m not picky.

Turn the Book Into a Cinematic Blockbuster

People would probably buy the book if it was a popular film. If you can make that happen, it would be a big help.

Donate a Book to a Place That Is Boring

Waiting rooms. They’re SO BORING when you’re a kid. Coffee shops! You don’t drink coffee when you’re a kid. What are you going to do? Why not read a copy of A Surprise for Giraffe and Elephant? What? You don’t own it? LUCKILY SOMEONE GAVE A COPY OF THE BOOK TO THIS BORING PLACE.

You could make the preceding paragraph a reality.

Put the Book in a Time Capsule 

Please include a note, “In 2015, this book was written by Paul Gude, PRESIDENT OF EARTH.”

I’m doing a few things on my end to make the story more believable.

Do Not Rob a Bank Using the Book

If you have somehow planned the perfect heist that involves robbing a bank with A Surprise for Giraffe and Elephant, please do not do it. I know, “There is no such thing as bad publicity,” but children might be afraid to hold the book lest they are mistaken as a bank robber by police. That would affect sales.

Do Not Make a Television Celebrity Eat the Book

If you are somehow influential enough that you could coerce a celebrity to eat A Surprise for Giraffe and Elephant during a live television broadcast, I am impressed. However, I am worried about the message it would send. People will perhaps be worried they are supposed to eat the book instead of read it. While the purchase of the book is my primary concern, part of the reason parents and teachers recommend them is that they are fun to read. I don’t want to get too far off-brand.

Read the Book

I don’t mention this very often. My main concern is that you buy the book as many times as possible. However, reading the book is pretty fun as well.

Buy When Elephant Met Giraffe

When Elephant Met Giraffe is the first installment of the Giraffe and Elephant books. It is also a nice book and buying it would also not be a bad thing.

Advertisements

About paulgude

Paul Gude writes small books, makes stupid music, draws silly pictures, and does weird things on stage.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.